Overloaded.

I can't deal with my life right now. I have too much going on and too little time to do it. I thought senior year was supposed to calm and care-free. If that's true then why am I on the verge on a mental fucking breakdown. I'm just losing my grips with school. With my life. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm doing. I just feel like I'm just crushed right now. Under the weight of school and everyday life. 

I don't know where this freaking packet for Chemistry is. I have to pass that class. I have to. I won't graduate if I don't. And the damn thing is worth two tests grades. I can't afford two 0's for test grades! I'll get an F and fail and have to repeat my senior year for sure. I don't lose things like this. I don't lose school things. What the fuck is going on with me? I have worked so hard... all throughout high school. I managed to stay number one in my class for awhile. And now I'm on the verge of failing my senior year. I can't handle this much stress right now. I am literally about to snap. I can handle stress fine, but not on this level. 

I have my SOLs coming up. And I have finals. And god damn all kinds of projects and essays due. Where do they expect us to have the time for all of this? It's 4 am and I'm having a mini panic attack over this stuff. I need to get out of here. It's the point where you're so stressed out you're on the verge of doing something stupid and rash. (Which I won't do.) It just is literally getting to that point right now. I feel sad, I feel kind of empty, minus the overwhelming amount of anxiety I have right now. 

I really just need all this shit to just stop and go away for awhile. I'm only one person, I can only handle so much at one time.