Neeeh.

So. I've been kind of thinking, about stuff. And I feel bored. I want to do something.
I want to get away and explore. I am so stressed over school. I'm so socially messed up, I'm scared that if I go away to college it'll be more trouble for me than it's worth. But... if I stay here and go to community college, then I have to find somewhere to live.
Grandpa already told me that he doesn't want me living here because he'll have more room and he'll make me pay rent.
I need to get a steady job. One that doesn't just work me on holidays. But, where the heck am I gonna work, that I can juggle and play soccer? I'm playing soccer this year. This is my last year of legit team soccer.
God that's so upsetting... soccer is like my life. I don't wan't to give it up. But, if I keep playing all through college, where is that gonna put me? Crippled? I'd rather not, thanks. As much as I want to play, and keep going. I value my walking a bit more.
I'm getting behind in school. lol. Senioritis. I swear.
I want to be out so badly, that I just don't care. Is that bad? I'm not sure that should happen. I know I need like a punch in the face to get me back on track, I just can't. Neh.