Tired of it.

I'm worried.
I'm worried and I'm stressed about a lot of things. I don't know what to do... where to go right now. You're the only thing I have to look up to. Too bad you're on the other side of the world. Too bad you can't be in my arms right now. Where I know you'll be okay. You tell me that you don't need taking care. Sorry, I'd do it anyway. It's my natural instinct to protect people... help them, you're no different. If anything you're more important. You're my priority right now. I look up to you. Of course not height wise but I do. You've such a brilliant mind. You interest me so much. All the time. I hope that my never getting mad at you never bothers you like badly. I wish I could tell you why I don't. I just... I don't even know myself to explain it to you.
I want to help you. I know there's a lot bothering you. I can tell. You think too much. You're like me in that sense. Over-thinking ftw I reckon.
And school. I just don't even know anymore. I'm done. I'm tired. And I'm irritated. I want it to be over with. I can't handle much more of this. It's constant. People raging on me. No one ever has anything really positive to say to me outside of the internet. I'm not different offline, really. Same goofy me. Well... I guess that's not entirely true. I'm a lot more quiet and caved in. I don't let many people at all get to know me. I don't like being left. The two men that I know loved me... left me here to deal with this myself. I know it's selfish of me, to be mad at them for it. But, why? If there is a fucking God why the fuck did you have to take the people who meant the most to me. The people who really loved me. Never got upset with me, really. And if they did. They got over it. I hate this. I hate crying. I hate breaking down, but you're sleeping right now. If you didn't have school I'd try and wake you up, but I don't want to. You need your rest, I can't be selfish like that. I'll handle my own. My head is killing me. I don't feel well at all. Knock on wood but I think I'm getting sick. Ha. Course.
My soccer coach texted me when I was in school today. Told me that she needed to talk to me. But, she couldn't tell me through the phone. That I needed to stop by her house one day. Well, she lives about 5 minutes away. And I've early dismissal all week from school. I'll stop by there one day and see what's up. I hope she's okay. She is an amazing woman.
I think I'm done for now... I can't be bothered to type more. The rest I'll just keep to myself.