Emotional whirlwinds.

My heart is in you
Where you go you carry me
I bleed
If you bleed
Your heart beats
Inside of me
You're keeping me alive ~ Keeping Me Alive by The Afters

I really like that. It's true, though. You are keeping me alive. Even when I'm down in the ditches and don't fee l like getting back up. You're right there for me. My light at the end of a dark tunnel. Lately I've been really aching to have you with me... I want to hold you so badly. Having even the remote chance of having to meet you soon, is wonderful. I want to meet you so badly. I'm going to throw a fucking fit if I can't...

I wish there was something more that I could do for Cody, I know he's sad. I know he's depressed. And like I told him... the best thing for him to do is to not let himself say I can't do anything... just lay in bed and think of all the little things, big things, everything that you want to do, and tell yourself you can do it. Repeatedly. Until you fall asleep. I suppose we'll see... hopefully it helps him. I'm no therapist, but with ours going through a really rough time as well right now, reckon I'll be the closest thing to one for him for awhile. Not that I mind.. but nyeh.

I am hoping I hear back from one of the jobs I applied to today... I don't care if it's a crappy job, I just really need something. Even if it's something little, I need something. I would like to get the job at Eagle Medical, but I don't know if they'll want to take the time to precept me though, I suppose only time will tell now... I wouldn't mind working at 7-11, I suppose. It's money. Even if not the most enjoyable job. I do want to eventually get into a TRFA, which is going to kill my ass, but it'll be worth it in the end, I think. Hmm. I don't
know.

I still feel depressed... I am working on it though, and outwardly, I'm definitely getting better, even inwardly, I'm feeling better. I'm not 100% but I'm getting there. I am.. I think I'm done for now.