Weeble.

I finally slept last night. I didn't sleep till 5 am. But, I at least slept more than two hours. I was beyond exhausted. My body literally just completely shut down on me. In the past four days, before last night, I slept maybe 6 hours. If I was lucky. And it'll probably start like that again. I'm just having horrid insomnia. And even though last night wasn't the most restful sleep my nightmares weren't as bad. I didn't wake up screaming, just woke up long enough to calm myself down. I'm tired... of everything. 

I read your blog everyday... just making sure that you're okay. I don't know how I feel anymore. About the situation, I mean. I love you, very much. I know that. I was a train wreck the past few days... I feel a bit better now that I've had some sleep but I don't know how long it'll last. I miss you. A lot. Like you're actively part of my thoughts... all the time. In my dreams, in my nightmares, in my daily thoughts. I think you're doing fine though without me. Which is good I guess. 

I've been doing a whole lot of nothing... it's been all I can do just to get out of bed because I've just been nothing but completely exhausted. I was getting to the point of having trouble functioning. Nyeh. I don't know. I feel stressed. And tired. Tomorrow I have the EMT ride along with Southside Emergency crew. 12 hours of calls. In a big city. I pray that I sleep a decent amount tonight. And thank fucking goodness I slept some last night. I would've had to cancel otherwise. Would've been too dangerous for me to try and do that on so very little sleep. 

Sigh, I reckon I'm done with this. I won't say I'm okay, I'm not. But, I'm not terrible either. I'm just kind of here right now. I feel a little bit better now that I've had some sleep but yeah. Sighsighsigh.